Pizza for a knight

I ride my horse, as knights do, and I find a new path. Stone laid. So I took it. And went for pizza.
The pizza establishment was great. They tried this new topping i hadn't ever heard of before, "ham". Well, after 45 minutes of deliberation I thought I'd take a gamble and give this "ham" a go. Moments later I was introduced to a pizza expert. He advised me that pineapple was a good pairing of the meat. Well, as you could imagine I was taken aback. Tropical fruit and a farm yard animal on one culinary adventure, together?
An hour and a half passed before I agreed to this new fangled topping. "Yeah, what the hell!" I shouted into the kitchen, startling the chef and waitresses. I prepared myself for this meal to lessen the pain.
8 pints of mead later and I was ready for this monstrosity of a mad-culinary-scientist's creation. The waitress, acting as if nothing was weird about this whole thing, placed the pizza down in front of me and walked away, wishing me good luck, I'm sure. As I stared at the warm fruit and pink pieces of this "ham" people were talking about, I was immediately stricken with a hard case of 'pizza's remorse.' "What have I done?!"
I screamed into the heavens. Fruit and pig in the same bite. This was going to happen. A more sober man would have the guile and foresight to just walk away, but the mead coursing through my blood sat my rear firmly to the bar stool.
I picked up the first piece and closed my eyes and pictured a more sensible pizza. The pepperoni and extra cheese was on special, why didn't I just do that, I'd save some silver, too. Oh well. I've come this far. I didn't become a knight by running away from fruit. So i took a bite... then another, and another. "How can this be?!" I screamed in the face of an elderly woman. I grabbed two pieces and folded them together. I took another bite. "Amazing! There are wizards working at this gastronomy lab!" I shouted to the children already running away.
As I finished the entire pizza in record time, I danced out of there with a satisfying grin on my face. Back to the castle up the less rocky road to the rockier road. Now that I think back, I forgot to pay. Never the less, this is how my fist son's name came to be, "PineHample." My life would never be the same.