Pizza for a knight

I ride my horse, as knights do, and I find a new path. Stone laid. So I took it. And went for pizza.
The pizza establishment was great. They tried this new topping i hadn't ever heard of before, "ham". Well, after 45 minutes of deliberation I thought I'd take a gamble and give this "ham" a go. Moments later I was introduced to a pizza expert. He advised me that pineapple was a good pairing of the meat. Well, as you could imagine I was taken aback. Tropical fruit and a farm yard animal on one culinary adventure, together?

An hour and a half passed before I agreed to this new fangled topping. "Yeah, what the hell!" I shouted into the kitchen, startling the chef and waitresses. I prepared myself for this meal to lessen the pain.

8 pints of mead later and I was ready for this monstrosity of a mad culinary scientist's creation. The waitress, acting as if nothing was weird about this whole thing, placed the pizza down in front of me and walked away, wishing me good luck, I'm sure. As I stared at the warm fruit and pink pieces of this "ham" people were talking about, I was immediately stricken with a hard case of 'pizza's remorse.'

 "What have I done?!" I screamed into the heavens. Fruit and pig in the same bite. This was going to happen. A more sober man would have the guile and foresight to just walk away, but the mead coursing through my blood sat my rear firmly to the bar stool.
I picked up the first piece and closed my eyes and pictured a more sensible pizza. The pepperoni and extra cheese was on special, why didn't I just do that, I'd save some silver, too. Oh well. I've come this far. I didn't become a knight by running away from fruit. So i took a bite... then another, and another. "How can this be?!" I screamed in the face of an elderly woman. I grabbed two pieces and folded them together. I took another bite. "Amazing! There are wizards working at this gastronomy lab!" I shouted to the children already running away.

As I finished the entire pizza in record time, I danced out of there with a satisfying grin on my face. Back to the castle up the less rocky road to the rockier road. Now that I think back, I forgot to pay. Never the less, this is how my fist son's name came to be, "PineHample." My life would never be the same.